reader, it’s been a week of celebrations! i write to you on the first day of spring & of course, eid al-fitr. majd and i also try to celebrate the 17th of every month since it’s our anniversary date (monthly?! we’re sad, i know), so we had a nice little meal at Mister Singh’s India on Elderslie St in Glasgow this week.

i think it’s important to keep the novelty of those small milestones alive, especially when we’re both so focused on building our lives individually. and when i say individually, i mean we’re both working to bring our individual lives into a complementary union.

me and majd are total opposites. yin & yang. someone, in the beginning, i could never have seen myself with (and he admits the same), and now could never see myself without. i’m notoriously the dreamer, and he’s the builder.

i’m head in the clouds pisces moon.“as deep as the ocean”, one psychic said to me before i even sat down. i give all the thanks to my scorpio sun. how much water does one really need in their chart? and if we disregard my chart as evidence, just read my writing.

i’m intense. i’m deep. and sometimes, to a fault. majd is a taurus. complete opposite side of the astrology chart. he’s grounded. he’s reliable and steady. someone who, thankfully, doesn’t always meet me at my depths but instead, brings me up for air. he keeps me grounded.

in simple terms: i’m a writer, he’s an engineer. i’m water, he’s earth. but instead of relying on him to bring to the table what i previously couldn’t, i’ve learned from him. i now know how to build. and he now allows himself to dream.

reader, it just works. i can’t explain it. it’s like learning how to ride a bike. if you think too much about it, you lose your balance so we just keep going.

anyway, today was sweet. we went to majd’s family’s shop for some small eid celebrations and i couldn’t think of any better place to have my morning coffee. there was a small friday hum in the café when we arrived. we exchanged smiles and quiet eid mubaraks as we greeted one another, careful not to disturb the ambient energy of the reading customers.

i’ve only been to the café twice since our nikkah in july 2024. as we pulled up to the café on this gloriously sunny spring equinox, i was immediately transported back in time. there’s navigating relationships and then there’s navigating intercultural /interfaith relationships. a nikkah was essential for us to become what we are.

i think this is the perfect time to put the song of the week. a song that takes me back to the graveyard (i know, how romaaaaantic), after majd had just asked me out in loch lomond. i remember thinking “ailsa, what are you doing?! you’ve just left your job, you don’t even know who you are or what you want to do.”

there was a part of me that hated that he was the only thing i was sure of. sure of in a non-egoic sense. certain. a truth that felt inevitable. and not because i wanted to be. quite the opposite. i didn’t want us to work. it defied everything i’d been taught. but we did.

i remember on the 17 july 2024, shaking in my little white heels. reciting my vows to an imam in arabic and knowing nothing at all beyond the fact that i knew the man before me would be the man beside me. i loved across faith, language, culture. i loved beyond borders. i loved beyond what everyone else was taught to fear. and it almost sounds so poetic; so simple. but it wasn’t.

there were some really ugly questions i had to ask myself: “can i still be ailsa? how much can i compromise? how much can we compromise? will i lose my identity?” and all the while, the only answer, a rather unsatisfactory one at the time – time will tell. and, reader, time told. i didn’t lose ailsa…

ailsa expanded.

i think we’re so quick to go for the easy option. black and white. this or that. all or nothing, and swing violently to extremes. instead, i’ve quietly learned over the years that holding the tension of opposites is exactly the kind of friction where growth happens. the cavepeople knew it before we did: there’s no fire without the friction of two sticks, right?

learning arabic doesn’t mean i’m forgetting how to speak english. respecting majd’s religion and his culture doesn’t mean i’m losing my own. what i was once scared would be severed has instead blossomed.

complexity and nuance are hard to hold but they have done nothing except broaden my horizons and expanded my worldview. to risk something completely unknown has only ever given me two outcomes: wisdom or success. and in that space, you can never lose.

now, back to coffee. i’ve had this thing about a slightly subdued kinder bueno in a cup so i’ve opted for another hazelnut latte this week from Helmi’s Bakery in Bearsden and it went down a treat, more so because the hands that made it, made it with love.

yap score 5/10. i’m still learning arabic so it was hard to fling myself full throttle into the yap session despite the fuelling at caffeination station. but i did the best i could and majd makes a great translator (sometimes, a lot can get lost in there 😆). the only full sentence i can say at the moment is either i want money or i don’t want money. of course that was one of the first sentences majd taught me.

since it was eid al-fitr, the outfit was my best attempt at a mix of smart casual. behold the corporate interview blouse, the exact same patterned skirt from last week (a size too big, but was too good to abandon on the salvation army rail) and a pair of burgundy adidas gazelles. oh, and sunglasses were from a shop in glasgow airport! another column, another week where the cool girl gets to live.

i’ve ditched the mirror selfies purely because the sun had his hat on! our garden took a rough beating over the winter so don’t judge. twas but an hour after these pictures that majd did a wee spring garden clearing. meanwhile, i carried an antsy bee 🐝 (our cockatiel) on my shoulder and ‘nonna-maxxed’, making us both sourdough sandwiches with vine tomatoes, mozzarella, rocket and olive oil. 🇮🇹

remember how i’m stepping beyond the confines of the writing nest i’d comfortably made for the last few years? i’ve bought some tickets to a slam poetry evening in paisley this week. i’ve not ventured into any writing scene beyond the ones online and i just have a feeling that life requires more of me. it’s asking for some real life participation. these years have been too convenient.

until next week, reader. may all your coffees be made with love!

– ailsa x